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Get

By Dahni
©️  2023, all rights reserved

 With the single word “get” a lot of things come to mind like and often referred to as phrasal verbs. What are phrasal verbs? According to the dictionary they are –

a phrase (such as get off or get going) that combines a verb with a preposition or adverb or both and that functions as a verb whose meaning is different from the combined meanings of the individual words. Here are some phrasal words in alphabetical order with “get”:

Get about
Get ahead
Get alone
Get at
Get away
Get back
Get by
Get even
Get going
Get in
Get into
Get on with it
Get off
Get out
Get over
Get through
Get up

      “Get” is often used in an idiomatic manner. What is an idiom? An idiom is a figure of speech. An idiom is an expression that conveys something different from its literal meaning, and that cannot be guessed at from the meanings of its individual words. It is understood by the culture of the people associated with its origin. As an idiomatic manner, when taken as a whole, they have a meaning we wouldn’t be able to deduce from the meanings of the individual words. Some think of these as essentially, the verbal equivalent of using the wrong math, but still getting the correct answer.

The phrase “kill two birds with one stone” is an example of an idiom. Fluent and native speakers of the language understand that this doesn’t refer to harming birds or using stones, but that someone is completing two tasks at once. How about a fish out of water? 😂 Here are some of the get idioms, in various popular idioms.

Get to it
Gotta
I gotta’ go it’s late
(note: not used in written English)

Have got to
Get down to business
Get together
Get it together
Get something

      “Get” for Possession is also used to indicate possession in the present perfect use of have got. This form can indicate that someone has an object, a friend or relative, or even a situation like:

I’ve GOT two children.
Sheila has GOT an appointment at three o’clock.
Have you GOT a TV in your kitchen?

      It is an interesting word GET, GOT or however the word is used.

For some background, I have within the last few months, come to the factual situation that I have failed and likely as a man, a husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, friend, and in business. Truly this had been and still is difficult for me to grip this. This is actual-factual not a mere expression of low self-esteem. But I am grateful for the realization, I truly am. But at 69 years of age, I am a little late to either my graduation from child to an adult or a pity party, wouldn’t one think this?

For myself, like I wrote before, I am grateful to be able to see perhaps for the very first time, what is the reality of my situation? I have decided not to continue to do the same things as I have for years and expect different results. I recognize now, this train of thought by followed actions is insane – nuts – crazy – stupid. I do not want to be this way anymore. But I also believe, even though I cannot do anything about what I have done or failed to do in the past, they are in the past, remain in the past. But I can certainly do something about what I do now and in the future, for as long as and according to – whatever time and quality of life I have left or that this may be.

As to the word “get” I am not seeking to “get over”, “get ahead of”, “get even”, “get by” and most of all those other “GET”(s), phrases and idioms. But I am interested in a “GET” or in “getting”.

Being brought to the place I was I have had to in essence, start all over or begin again. Such things as most have asked themselves and I asked myself many years ago as, Who am I, are renewed. Yes, finding nothing left of value, I have asked myself now what? What do I want to be? What do I want to become? What do I want to accomplish? Again, who am I?

Many of the things I thought I valued are no longer important to me. Some things never change, but many things have changed for me. Though there are still animals in my life, they are not as important to me as they once were. They are expensive and are dumb animals that often irritate me. But this does not mean I am going to be mean to them or not do my best to take care of them. Honestly, I am waiting for them to die and when they do, I will never have another pet or animal in my life and especially not inside.

I miss my aluminum-could-be-causing-Alzheimer antiperspirant deodorant. I tried natural and the so-called aluminum free deodorants. Thankfully I found an antiperspirant that works for me. This has not changed for me. It is just that in learning who I am now, this blast from my past, still works for me today.

I was told to wear boxer shorts. I did. I don’t like them. I need more support for my “boys” 🤣 and all cotton. Found a pair of Tommy John® brand that supposedly is several times cooler and keeps one drier than regular cotton? No bunching, chaffing, riding-up promises they say. They are expensive, but I decided to give them a try. So far so good! 😊👍 No, I am not posting a picture of me wearing them! 😂

Years ago I discovered Van Der Hagen Men’s Luxury Scented Shave Soap. I found it at Wal-Mart. I have been buying it for years. Now, everywhere I have looked it has been replaced with various shaving creams. I don’t like the aerosols or tubes of shaving cream. I don’t like shaving oils. Thankfully, I have located Van Der Hagen Men’s Luxury Scented Shave Soap on Amazon. I have a cup and a shaving brush (badger hair). I like shaving like this. This has not changed for me. It is just that in learning who I am now, this blast from my past still works for me today.

And another thing, when I-don’-care-if-everyone-is-doing-it, I don’t like body sprays and splashes or whatever they are called. I’m back to using cologne. I like smelling good and specifically, ‘Bernini’ and ‘Cool Water’ 👍

I need to loose weight and to lower my A1C levels. It is recommend that to do this, I should build muscle. I am working out at the gym, three days a week. I had not been in about three weeks while Susan was in Colorado. Call it me, staying home with the animals. But after she got back home, I went to the gym and was going to tell my trainer that I would be back the very next Monday. But I stood there and watched him train another of his clients for about 15 minutes. I did not want to interrupt him, but mostly, his training of his client captivated me. John’s client was female, but male or female it did not matter to me. She had on boxing gloves and John had on training gloves she could hit. Overhand shots, hooks and uppercuts, fast, slow, side-to-side, it was like a dance. I did not know if she wanted to learn how to protect herself or she was actually training for some competition? As it turned out, it was all just an alternative way to work on all her core muscle groups as I was with machines and weights. I immediately was reminded of dance and martial arts.

When I was a child, maybe 8 or 9 years old, I became interested in dance – tap and ballet. There was a class in an instructor’s home, not far from where we lived. I was able to join. I was the only boy or male. I did not care. I loved it. Other boys in my neighborhood and school found out about it. They teased me and made fun of me and I quit. Years later, I met a man that was living at his college fraternity. He was working out in what I learned was his karate Gi. I watched him for quite awhile and his movements awed me. He looked as if he was dancing.

He noticed me watching and my apparent interest. Must have been my bug-eyes? 😂 He not only was a black belt in karate, but he was an instructor and had his own dojo (school). He never asked me to join his school, but he did ask if I wanted to learn. So I worked out with him whenever I could. He never charged me. I have never paid a dime for any martial arts training until around 2007.

Somewhere along the path I was on, I saw an old black and white movie. It was about dancers. Thugs tried to mug, steal or just generally accost a group of them that had just left their dance studio. None of them were fighters, but they did no how to dance. If memory serves me correctly, this could have been a musical and/or a comedy movie. But all I vaguely remember is the scene where the dancers fended off the thug-fudder-muggers. 😂 One dancer dived into a trashcan and when the mugger bent over looking for where he went, two shoe-clad feet came out, upper cutting and knocking the guy down and out. This was all I remember, the dancers using nothing except their dance moves and techniques, successfully defending themselves. WOW, dance was looking pretty manly and cool 😎 to me after watching this movie! 👍

The word “defending” is important because, I was never interested in fighting or AKA kicking anyone’s ass. I never paid for any martial arts classes, joined any groups or wanted anything other than a beginner’s belt (white). I did not want anyone to know I was into martial arts as an alternative to dance or a reason to challenge me so they could kick my ass.

From karate, there was judo, tai chi, and with Bruce Lee, I was interested in Kung Fu. So, I always seemed to befriend black belt masters who took a shine to me and taught me many things, without charging me. Like I said, until about 2007, I never spent a dime on martial arts.

As a little side note, I went to a college in Emporia, Kansas for awhile about 1976. The college was trying to setup a dance class for entertainment purposes for campus life mostly. I joined. Now I was not the only male this time, but I was number three among many women. I loved it. I told you I loved dance.

Anyway, back to Bruce Lee, Kung Fu and the 70’s. I liked Bruce Lee. Besides his skill and physique, I thought he was cool 😎 and funny.🤣 I watched his movies and his moves. I practiced his one-inch punch. Somehow, this big-popular-athlete-boxer-fighter (never knew him to have ever lost a fight), found out about my interest in martial arts. He believed they were nothing. He persisted. Finally, I relented and said, “I can knock you on your ass with my fist, just one-inch from your chest. He did not believe me. I had him hold a three-inch telephone book over his chest for his own protection. He did not believe me. I knocked him down.

Now I am not proud of this, but it shows how quick my responses were and it shows muscle memory. Muscle memory basically just means you practice something so long your muscles seem to develop almost a photographic memory. This explains why even though blind, many people develop their other senses and do not need sight. There are many grand masters of martial arts that are literally blind. But anyway, my mother and I were having an argument. I turned my back on her to walk away. Apparently she was not done with speaking to me and she reached out and her hands or fingernails reached my back. In what seemed like a blink of an eye, my mother was on the ground looking up at me confused and in disbelief. I did not hurt her. I was not proud of that, but it shows my response time. Years later I was working with a large man over 6’ tall and he weighed over 200 lbs. He was driving and I was on the passenger side. I did not like this man, but at the time, I was working for him. He sucked as a people person. He was clueless as to thinking about many things and at common sense or about communicating with others. But somehow he was brilliant in math and the use of Microsoft’s excel program. He was like an idiot savant.

How about this, I will write here so you can perhaps understand my opinion of him. He was raised in the “sticks”. His dad once told him that the way you could tell if a dog is a good one or not was to throw a stick at the dog. If the dog were dumb or worthless, it would run away. If the dog were smart and a good dog, it would come back to you. Well, I thought just the opposite. If the dog was a good dog and smart, if I ever threw a stick at it, it should run away and never come back!

You need to understand this. I worked for him. I lived in a former chicken coop that he owned. His wife kicked him out of their home and he was also, living in the front of this converted coop in what was also the office. We had to share the kitchen and the bathroom. But when not working, I wanted nothing to do with this redneck-overalls-wearing-hillbilly. He was an embarrassment to me. He was an embarrassment to my then trade. Somehow, he hit my every trigger, many of which I never knew I had. I thought I was a peace loving person. He made me angry. I wanted to hurt him. Thinking and doing are two separate things. So, I started thinking up and writing down plots for murder mysteries.🤣 At least I wasn’t fighting. 👍

Well, one morning, I got into his truck. We were on our way to a job. He said, “Good Morning.” I responded with: “Look, I have to work for you presently and with you. But I could care less if you say a single word to me, other than as it relates to work!” (emphasis intended). The next thing that happened was his right arm was reaching out towards me. I viewed this as a threatening motion. The next thing I realized, I had swung all the way over and was somehow between the front glass and the steering wheel holding his arms to keep him from hurting himself or myself. He opened his door and turned in his seat to try and throw me out. The angle and gravity finally forced me to the ground. No one was hurt, but he drove away.

From my beginnings in martial arts, I never wanted to hurt anyone. Any of the few physical confrontations I have ever had in my life, I always resorted to wrestling moves to hold them back until the anger subsided, they agreed to end this and I let them go. I bring this up as “defense” not “offense” has always been important to me. All the martial arts say they are for defense only. I have not found this to be entirely honest. Most are highly aggressive, offensive and competitive. But breaking concrete blocks, blocks of wood, breaking knuckles, bloody fists and having your hands registered with law enforcement as lethal weapons might be appealing to those that actually need these skills in law enforcement and the military, but I’d rather be a lover than a fighter or an arrogant bully.

Over the years I have kind of become a law unto myself. By this I mean, learning so many techniques from so many different martial arts, it was kind of like what Bruce Lee developed and called, Jeet Kune Do. “Jeet Kune Do” supposedly means – “Way of the Intercepting Fist”. I kind of refer to what I have learned or what I do as, use what is at hand or use what you’ve got. Maybe at the moment all that you have is  a stick, a banana, a bag of chips, or whatever is available. Mostly I use whatever an opponent has – their strength, their size, and especially, their lack of balance. Speaking of “balance” I learned along time ago that those flying kicks might look impressive, but the moment your feet, both of them are not on the ground (grounded), you have lost your balance!

Over the years I have been interested in martial arts as an alternative to dance. I liked martial art movies and television programs. For a time, I enjoyed Steven Segal movies. Even when I was into him, I thought he was fat, arrogant, a sexist and a bully. But it was the core of his techniques I found incredible. You can still find YouTube videos of him defending himself from about 10 masters to become a grand master. He was the real deal! What he did in the movies was based on a legitimate martial art (over-scripted and over-choreographed for film), but one in which he was truly a master at. He learned it as a foreigner and in Japan. In Japan, many of the natives are prejudiced against any foreigner. Color of skin is not important, but where you are born. Many American-born people literally have to be better than the Japanese, in order for the Japanese to give them any respect. Steven Segal did that. And it did not hurt him that he was once married to the daughter of a martial arts grand master from Japan.

About 2007 or thereabout, I went to Japan. There I understood that this martial art among all the other martial arts is really and truly for defense, not offense. But this does not mean that someone could not be seriously hurt by these techniques or that those who know them run if they are confronted and there is no other way. I still remember its first principle – ‘Don’t be There.’ “Don’t Be There” in my own words means:

Don’t go looking for a fight
Don’t show up for a fight
Don’t get into a fight…
…Just don’t be there

       But if confronted and there is no other way, you have every right and the responsibility to defend yourself and others too! I am now thinking of a man that served in the defense of his country and found himself in a situation where he believed it necessary to defend others from another that appeared bent on causing harm. The one man died and the former soldier-defender has been charged for having committed a crime. Read what I wrote above, again. If there is no other way, anyone has the right and the responsibility to defend themselves and others, the misinterpreted laws be damned. The deceased man violated Aikido’s main tenet or first principle – “Don’t be there.” I am truly grieved for those he has left behind, but he is responsible for his own death!

      All the principles of Aikido work for me! When I got back to the United States I found and joined a local dojo for Aikido. Part of this included receiving my first ever Gi. It was all cotton, loose and padded to be able to move and roll. We did a lot of that. I loved it. Then the instructor became a Christian (so am I), and he had some religious conflict between Aikido and Christianity? I tried to dissuade him to no avail. I could not persuade him. So much for my spiritual prowess or persuasion abilities, huh? Well, this was the end of that class and it was the end of Aikido for me, for probably over 10 years. That is until last week when I went into gym and watched my trainer working out with the lady boxing. I was thinking WOW, dance, Aikido! So I went home and took out my Gi. That thing is so well made or so under-used it could maybe last 150 years? At least for longer than I will likely be alive.

       The uniform is called Aikido Gi (or Aikidogi) is the correct term. You could also use the short form: Dogi. But most people simply call it Gi.

      My pants with a drawstring still fit great. The long white belt has not changed. The jacket was a little tight due to that belly now hanging over my waste. So I went and got another one, cheap and on sale. So now, besides just machines and weights, I can work my core muscles going through martial arts aka dancing.😊  I did this at home on Wednesday. At home, I don’t have to wear socks and have the benefit of toughening up my feet. For the gym, I found some black sock-etts with rubber grips on the bottom for traction and besides, the gym probably does not want me there in my bare feet. 😂 I probably don’t want my feet touching gym-germs either. 🤣

OK, so what does this all have to do with “get”? I’m getting there. 😂

In finding out who I am for maybe the first time ever, growing up, letting go of my past, sometimes people and stuff I used to do or hang with for whatever reason(s), didn’t work, what do I do now? I’ve decided I don’t want to stay in New York, but honestly, especially not, for the winter. Yep, this state politically is messed up. All I can say about that is that it’s not California, which is worse.

Well, I got a big, big bucket full of shame, embarrassment and failure. I’m not suicidal and I don’t need a shrink, a therapist or anyone to talk to about this. I could use some new friends, but I don’t need professional help. I get up every day. I’m breathing. I may have been beaten down and I may be broken, but I have not given up. I still have hope. My expectations if not now lower, call them more reasonable. Besides, if they were lower and I get disappointed, I won’t have too far to fall. 😂

I have been looking for work. Most now-a-days all I have been able to do is apply online. I have been. I wanted full time M-F 8-5. Changed that to willing to work nights and weekends. I was willing to work part-time X however many part-times jobs it would take me to reach full time.

Someone that I know supposedly saw my resume and asked me to apply as a chef for another restaurant they are opening. I was honored. I applied. No return. I think it was not really Moma, but a dishonest recruiter. They get paid if I get hired. Part of the name of the restaurant is Moma. The person asking me to apply wrote, “This is Moma.” I have my doubts as we do know each other and I have used her kitchen years ago for a fundraiser. But I was honored and even though I had my doubts about returning to commercial chef-fery, I applied.

      I applied for a carpet and fiber cleaning position. I was a trained specialist and considered an expert witness in a court of law. I was personally trained by the very best in the business, Doug Bowels. He was known by Dupont, all the carpet mills in Dalton, Georgia, has cleaned tapestry for a prince in Saudi Arabia, consulted with Disney World in Florida and on and on. He was here locally to do some training years ago. He and his wife Sandi invited Susan and I to dinner. A great time was had by all with great people. I loved this industry! My last work in this field was in Rochester, NY over 10 years ago. I cleaned all the carpet and drapes at The George Eastman House & Museum (founder of Kodak), and treated the curtains at Dryden Theater with fire retardant. That’s when I developed that day, a chemical sensitivity. That’s that and that ended my career. Over ten years ago? Well, maybe I’m no longer sensitive? I applied. Nothing.

I lowered my expectations again. And then I kept getting this and that from them and those, almost like spam. There was nothing in between of not being qualified and not being interested from these.

Then I made a simple tweak. I only wanted Indeed, Ziprecruiter, CareerBliss (partners with LinkedIn), and other job finders to only send me remote work. They did and in fact, within minutes, not only did I have openings that could be done at home, I found one I was interested in and I applied. I got a response within a very short time. I listened to and watched a presentation by the owner and CEO of the company on Zoom. I was impressed. I filled out a survey. Heard back from them. They set up a follow-up interview. I decided before the day of the interview, this is what I wanted to do, even before knowing if I would be hired. I had my interview with one of the VP’s, face-to-face, also on Zoom. We hit it off. I guess he was impressed with me. He told me, “I want you to know that if I hire you, there are others in the wings I cannot.” I said in response, “I’m sorry, that I cannot be sorry!”

So, I’m hired at age 69. Doing what? I am not going to tell anyone, anytime soon if at all or maybe not for ten years? Why? I do not want anyone to know if I succeed or if I fail. I want no other outside influence, positive or negative. This is something I want to learn, I want to do and to be be successful at. I want to do this first, for myself.

I don’t want to Get on. Get even, Get over and all the other Gets. I just want to GET this now, in my time. Don’t call me (unless it is a real emergency), between 2-9 PM M-F or maybe, Sat or Sunday or both – 8 am to 1 pm. I’ll be working to help others and myself. I may not need to work beyond Thursday. I may just want to work because, I’m good at helping others and myself, a lot! 😁

Yes, maybe I can retire (again), but in ten years, at age 79, with some lead left in my pencil and something to show for all my efforts? That will be new! Maybe I can finally do what someone told me to do probably over 50 years ago now –

“Learn to do something so well it can support you and a family if desired.”

      Perhaps I am now ready to succeed. Maybe my attitude will attract others to what I have done myself, for myself, with the help of others and the opportunity given me? It happens for others, why not me? It’s going to! I am out to –